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You need to feel romance and feel its sadness, sometimes, to allow your heart remain happy in turbulent and busy times. So here's some romantic success, some romantic failure, while I remain busy working for E Summit.

Anjaane mein..

log aksar kehte hain dard-e-nasha mila hai mujhe anjaane mein..
jaane log naapte hai nashe ko kis paimane pe.
nasha hai ye ya afsaane hai teri aankhon ki yaadon ke.
Aakhir ghalti se aapki aankhon ka jaam jo pee gaya is maikhane mein..

aankhein keh jaati hai baatein hazaar anjaane mein..
mann ke aaine mein dikh jata hain in aankhon ka samanader, thodi himmat aajmane se
aankhon ke gehre samander ki mulaqat jab hoti hai kinare se,
us samander ke lahron mein doob jaata hun is maikhane mein..

un aankhon ke maikhaane ka qaasid bhi dara jaata hai anjaane mein
ye qaasid aata hai aankhon ki gehrayee ke kisi tehkaane se,
phir bhi saath lata hai ye aaftab apne us thikane se,
kya karein...yahi qaasid to paagal bana jaata hain is maikhane mein..

unki aankhon ko dekhkar ye lafz yun hi nikal aaye hai anjaane mein..
ye baatein to roz hi hongi un aankhon ke tasawwur ke khwab aane pe
un chhoti si pyaari aankhon mein jaam ka gehra samandar bas jaane de,
kabhi kabhi ye dard-e-nasha bhi meetha lagta hai ab is maikhane mein..



Complete translation of above (to avoid any wrong interpretations :) ):

Despite the fact that people don't know what makes me intoxicated, they claim that I suffer from the pain of intoxication. The fact is even I am not sure whether its intoxication or the memories of your beautiful eyes. May be it is because your eyes have intoxicated me.

Eyes can speak volumes without literally conveying anything, and the only way to measure the depth of those volumes is to feel your heart. Your eyes are also very deep, and when the sea of your eyes reaches its bank,(when your internal beauty is reflected in the the external world through your eyes), it has the power to drown me if I am in contact with it.

The messenger of the bar present in your eyes (it refers to the intoxication of your beauty), is dangerous enough, because it comes not from the surface but from layers hidden from the external world. It is the beauty of the heart and mind which is reflected in the eyes.
It is an irony that though this beauty is hidden and can't be seen but it has the ability to illuminate others' lives. Such irony and dangers are the causes of my madness.

I never wished to speak the above words, but your beauty forced me to. Now such poetry of words will be created every time i see the beautiful potrait of your deep eyes in my dreams. Though your eyes are small, it has the ability to soak in it the entire vast sea of intoxicating beauty; and this special quality of your eyes actually makes me find the pain sweet.

..........................................................................................................................................................................

Aashiq ki Taqdeer..

Ab aapse baat karne ka mera dil nahi chahta hai,
Darr lagta hai us khoobsurat sapne ka jo mujhe har pal satata hai..
Aapse baat karke us sapne ke phir se aane ka hota hai darr,
sochkar bhi ghabrata hai us sapne ke tootne ka hoga kya asar..

Isiliye ab ye dil sapne dekhna nahi chahta hai,
Aur un sapnon se bachne ke liye ab ye aapko dekhkar bhi ghabrata hai..
Jise har pal dekhne ka sapna sanjota hai dil,
usi ke dikh jaane par ab tadapta hai aur rota hai dil..

Bas yehi hai kahani us aashiq ki, darrta hai jo aashiqui karne se,
Use kya pata ki likhi hui hai usqi taqdeer ki ab hoga kya lakh darne se..

Yaadon ka ik safar

yaad aati hain humein aapki har pal,
sangharsh karta hua chal raha hai ye jeevan.
aapki pyari so wo jhappi, aapka wo pyaara sa dulaar,
aapka wo hansta hua chehra, aapke office se aane ka wo intezaar.

yaad aati hain humein aapki har pal,
apne hi dil ki tadap se lad raha hai ye jeevan.
aapka mujhpe wo vishwas aur aapka mujhe pyaar karna har baar,
aapke saath movies dekhna aur jyada padhai karne par aapki wo maar.

yaad aati hain humein aapki har pal,
apne hi yaadon ke khauf se dar raha hai ye jeevan.
aapke saath mein baith ke ajeeb se un taaron ko dekhna,
aasmaan ke paar dikhne waale un nazaaron ko dekhna.

yaad aati hai humein aapki har pal,
man ke ufaanon ki maar se mar raha hai ye jeevan.
aapka wo sweets laana aur saath mein unhe chupke se khud bhi khana,
wo khoye waali kheer banana aur uski badai mein khud doob jaana.

yaad aati hai humein aapki har pal,
khud ke astitva ki safalta pe sawal kar raha hai ye jeevan.
mera wo aapke liye paani lana aur badle mein aapke haathon se koi tohfa paana,
aapke hanste hue chehre par mere liye un chintaaon ka aana.

yaad aati hain humein aapki har pal,
sach to ye hai, inhee meethi yaadon ke safar se tar raha hai ye jeevan.
aapke pyaar se jeevan ko jeetne ka tha sapna,
aur aapki aankhon mein us sapne ko sach karne ka wo sapna.

har pal yaad aati hai aapki, jeevan ki is dagar mein.
jeena padta hai humein ladkar, jeet kar aansuon ke is shahar mein.
pyaar jo aapse hain, wahi to jeevan hai mera.
pyaar jo aapka tha, usi wajah se to ab ye pal hai mera.

Its tough time now for our economy.

(P.S.: Well, i am back after a really long time, and that too with some serious issue. One more thing, I have not yet made my blog known to people around me for a reason. Soon, I'll bring the blog to the eyes of the close friend circle around me.)

The current economic conditions have seen a new low, with the inflation rate still in two digits and stock market crashing to all time lows. Sadly enough, the recent US crisis, or to be precise global crisis, adds to our woes. Reliance Infra, ICICI, Reliance Com have proved to be the major losers with around 20% fall seen on Saturday and despite RBI signaling presence of liquidity in the market, the market seems to have gone deep into the crisis. And interestingly and also ironically, articles like these are aiding the market slump by creating a panicky situation. Coming to the global market, predictions like GM, Crysler and Ford on the verge of bankruptcy and news of Meryll Lynch and Goldman Sachs going an all time low have acted as a catalyst to further decay the already decaying economy in India.

Sitting at one's room and reading about the news may sometimes not be able to give the true feel of the economic situation in India; but this time, sadly enough, does not come under those sometimes. So a guy like me, entirely oblivious of shares and stocks in conditions otherwise, is forced to a wisdom of thoughts resting in the penury of knowledge :(

But the whole aim of this post is to look at those rays of hope and success which always come with any situation of crisis. As they say, or may be I say, every failure gives you a chance to create success. Now is our chance to create the success which has eluded us (and I am being a bit patriotic here) due to the US market (don't worry, I am not a leftist). With certain hard policy decisions, which I really hope the government makes, India will be back into business and its uproar will be heard by the entire globe this time.

Another post with no head and tail but a reflection of my heart at this moment (seems like I have been reading a lot of ET lately, and well I'll be back to Filmfare soon enough :) )

An urdu poem about her...though there is no real 'her'

Unke jalwe humein ba-andaaz-e-digar dikhai diye,
unki adaaon se daad-e-hunar sunai diye...
unki baaton mein kuch aise sharaar dikhai diye
ki zarre zarre se moushiqui ke ghazal sunai diye...

unke chehre se us sayyaad ki jhalak aayi,
jiske shikaar hone ki sazaa har insaan ne paayi...
unke andaazon mein bhi aise deewanepan ki jhalak aayi,
ki paagalpan ne bhi khud ki meaar-e-nazar kamzor paayi...

thoda gussail rawayya unka, thodi naazuk hai adaaiein
sard mausam mein jaise surkh siraaz sharmaye...
thodi ziyaa bhi hai unmein, aisi ki unke raqeeb bhi darr jaayein
kya karein zaalim...ab to unke suroor ne bhi di hai sazaaein!!


(Meanings of a few urdu words above:
ba-andaaz-e-digar: in a different style
daad-e-hunar: praising one's abilities
moushiqui: music
sharaar: spark
sayyaad: hunter
meaar-e-nazar: scale of comparison
siraaz: can be used for 'sun'
ziyaa: brilliance)

Rest of the word meanings I hope should be clear.

Return to Innocence-1

Today is Sunday and my heart is forcing me to remember the past. Those days, when my heart was still a child. Those times when everything was so simple. The days I spent in Sahibganj. The first feelings of attraction, which I mistook to be love; the true feelings of love- love from my beloved Papaji and from Ma; the feelings of that innocent laughter, those simple fights and that hug. Well, I believe my heart is making my mind return to that innocence.

But OK, I will control my heart a bit and let you know of one of the stories from those innocent times.Feelings are plenty but today I will post only about my first feelings of attraction for someone, maybe you can call it my first crush. I will only write a short story about the birth and growth of my innocence, not about its death.

Venue: Sahibganj, the place which gave birth to all my innocence and also led to its death.
Time: Many years ago

I think I was in Class 6 then and our school's inter house quiz competition was going on. I was one among the viewers. Totally oblivious of what was going on the stage I was chatting with one of my friends, and then I saw her. She was there answering questions to the quizzer, there on the stage, and I knew it was love- love at first sight ( kya karoon, used to watch a lot of movies at those times). I decided that day itself that I need to talk to her. Sources confirmed she was not in my section but in the same class as mine. I was that typical nerd afraid of talking to girls, and I spent a few nights thinking of how to approach her. Well, I finally got an idea. I decided I have to wait for 8-9 months before I talk to her. See, I had a lot of patience back then, which was a result of my innocence or better to say the aftereffect of my innocence. I know that she had participated in the quiz competition and she does that every year. I waited, trying to preserve her memories in my heart, and enjoying the feelings of that wait full of patience and hope. I wanted to oust her regular partner for the quiz and take his place.

And after about 7-8 months the day came. The selection day for the Inter House Quiz Competition. There she was waiting to get selected for the competition, amongst the best quizzers of our school. I was sure I would get selected and would oust her regular partner, and thus get the chance to partner her. I have already started dreaming of those days which we shall spend together preparing for the quiz competition.

The results of the selection were announced and I listened to the announcement with a stopped heart. "This year we have selected the students who'll represent the Campion House. The students are...", I almost closed my ears, "....Ashwin Srivastava..", I caroused in the sweetness of those words, "....and Shyamjee Ojha", the revelry lasted only a few seconds. Shyamjee was her regular partner.

She was ousted because of me.

Well I will keep you posted about more feelings and incidents from those innocent times, but later, because a phone call from my professor a few moments ago has suddenly brought me back to the "not so innocent world".

Politics and IIT, hand in hand?? or........??

I think its my right and my duty to write on this topic. Being an IITian and having witnessed the politics surrounding this esteemed institute, I believe that despite trying to remain aloof from one of the most important decisions made in the recent times, we can't ignore the consequences which this decision may have on our future.

Politics is interesting. Politics has given my neighbor, the son of one of the most powerful persons of my city, an entry into IIT based on the grounds which clearly mention my neighbor as socially backward. I still wonder how can you call one of the most influential businessmen in the city ,adored and respected by all, as socially backward. Well the answer is politics.

Politics is more interesting. Politics has given my institute, already a widow, an opportunity to give birth to a daughter. The institute lacks in the number of good faculty and as if this was not enough, the intake of students has been increased. Students who have been crammed to live in a 10*10 ft area (okay this was a bit of exaggeration) will now have to live in even worse situations. IIT Kanpur, the widowed mother, conceived a new IIT Rajasthan which will remain in incubation period for a year or two. Politics can do anything.

Politics is even more interesting. Politics can lead people to death without even touching them. Politics can change the system without even the people sensing them. Politics can justify rape while making a rule of death sentence for rape. Politics can simply do anything, simply anything, as long as we remain what we are- gullible, ignorant, greedy, selfish and losers.

p.s. The last paragraph tries to touch different issues, all at the same time. Think over each sentence, over each word and you will find each sentence is a pun intended on what current politics related to IIT may do to these esteemed institutes.

Aftermath of a tragic discussion..

Recently I had a long discussion with a close friend of mine, who is obsessed with repugnance for all Hindu fundamentalist organizations. His obsession has reached to a level where he has started to believe that Muslims in this nation are unsafe. Such a belief has made him the scapegoat of his own feelings which are trying to feast on his gullibility. Now he believes he has converted himself into a Muslim.

Well its not about this friend I am going to talk about in this post; but its about all those gullible people who get affected by what they see first so fast that they are unable to see the other picture despite having eyes. Its quite natural that the movies my friend has watched in the recent past are Godhra Tak, Zakhm etc. I appreciate these movies but am unable to appreciate what my friend perceives from a few parts of these movies.

This post is not about the friend mentioned in the first para, but also about another friend of mine, who only watches movies and documentaries like The plight of Kashmiri Hindus, Islamic Terror etc. And he believes he needs to save Hinduism in order to help India remain a secular country. What an irony!

I would like to make it clear that none of these movies are biased towards any religion and all of them are pure in what they try to portray. Its what these friends of mine have perceived after watching these movies which concerns me, and should be the concern of the youth of today.

Secularism or fundamentalism? If given a choice to select between the two, both of my friends would select the former. I would, too. But despite this selection they forget the fact that secularism is trying to reach new meanings in the politics of today's world. This new meaning is what they are selecting and professing, and this new meaning is what is acting as the vote bank of politicians of today. Its similar to what once Asoka has believed- he needs to kill people and create one country under his own rule to ensure non violence in the future. Violence to ensure non violence? Fundamentalism as the road to secularism?

I think its the time to think.

p.s. I hope none of my friends feel anything bad about this post, and I request that even if you do, please DON'T start a war of words in the comments section.