Saturday, May 24, 2008

Believe me, there was a God.

A few poems and useless articles. Now is the story time. Let me tell you a story- the story of a man who was beyond words. This story begins but doesn't end because people who are beyond words never end. Let us give some name to the protagonist. Lets call him Mr A, hope that's fine.

So the story of Mr A begins with a small town in the midst of hills on 3 sides and a beautiful river on the other side. Beautiful people with innocence and simplicity exist in the town- the town is in that stage from where you want to grow on to become a city but sadly enough opportunities and resources (i mean the lack of these) restrict you. Drizzling of noise in the daytime and the calmness of deserts at night make this town a place where peace is the most prized possession.

Okay, lets come back to the protagonist and his family- a small happy family of 4000- Mr A, his wife, one 15 year old son and a daughter. 1..2...3....4; who are the rest 3996? Well the answer is in front of my eyes. Let me explain.

Today is Monday and people from across the tribal areas surrounding the town are coming to the town- the locals call it the 'haat' day. Tribals of all shapes, sizes and ages selling things which will give them the weekly stock of food. There is a special crowd in front of a shop, people with strangely sick faces are queuing outside to get into the shop. What a shop is this? Seems like the owner must be a successful businessman. Mmmmmm....Wait for a second, oh this isn't a shop, its a clinic, a doctor's dispensary; and the doctor sitting inside is Mr A. Lets see whats going on inside. A man sitting in front of the doctor with a small boy tells A that his son is having fever from the past 10 days. Mr A inspects the patient and asks his name. The man replies Srivastava Yadav. Strange name, Mr A says. A surname is the first name, really strange. The man replies- he doesn't know whether the word ' Srivastava' is a surname because what matters to him is his belief that the word 'Srivastava' is the name of God himself and he has kept his son's name after a God. And then I have a look at the nameplate of Mr A's clinic and it says Dr A.K. Srivastava. I don't think I need to say a word more about who are the rest 3996.

Lets fast forward the story to 10 hours later. Mr A is returning from the day long tiring experience of treating patients and helping dying people live ,free of cost. He knocks at his house's door and here is his son standing in front of him with a glass of water in his hand- seems like a very disciplined child in awe of his father. Mr A smiles and gives a lovely hug to his son, lets name him B. Even before he is able to complete his glass of water, he hears voices- B has done that again, he is so indisciplined that he mouths foul words to even his mother, B is the worst son one can have, B has gone beyond the activities of humans and is no less than a shaitaan etc. etc. I think these are the voices of Mr A's wife and may be some relatives or neighbors; thats inconsequential. Whats consequential is that their words make you feel that B is a misanthrope who is on the verge of becoming a real devil if not controlled. Whats the real thing? How can we know? Mmmmmm..ok lets peep into the heart of B himself, lets see what his heart is made of- uhhh its so dark inside...well i can see hatred, i can also see anger, greed and many other vices but I can also see love- love which Mr A has for him, love which has the ability to overshadow every other vice, love which is so much that even if B has no real friend or anything else, this one day's love shall be enough stock to make him live successfully throughout his entire life.

At the start of this story I told our protagonist is beyond words, so how do you expect to write about how and what he is. I hope the day in the life of Mr A should have given you at least some idea of what Mr A is. Though this story won't ever end, lets try to give a stop to flow of words by letting you have a peep into the current day.

Current day, time 11 am. The same town , the same shop, oh i am sorry, the same clinic and the same 3996 people. There is no crowd outside the clinic today and the clinic no more looks like a clinic, its a shop now - a medical shop where you buy health depending on the prescriptions by the businessman in the dress of doctor inside. And the doctor cum businessman inside is not Mr A- its someone else.

The 3996 strong family of Mr A is there but no Mr A. He is not there even in the smell of the town, neither in the air or water of that place. He seems to not exist at all any where, not even in the hearts of the 3996 strong family. He's vanished totally from every aspect related to the town. A look at his house 2 kilometers away from this shop also shows no signs of Mr A. Where has he gone? How can a person regarded as God by the people of this peaceful, innocent and simple town simply vanish from a place which was his home? Where has he gone? A lot of search and effort finally finds him. He has decided to divide himself into 3 parts and he lives in those 3 places only- the hearts of his remaining few family members. He is nowhere else, and do you know the reason? The reason is this- Answer this question. Suppose you know and believe that God has created you and made you what you are till date. Thats why you pray to him everyday. Suddenly you come to know from confirmed sources that God no more plays a role in your life. Will you pray to him the other day? I know, you won't. And what shall happen a few weeks later, i think you will even forget that there was a God.

But believe me, there was a God.

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Top 10 movies of all time of all languages

I am an avid movie lover, I watch all kinds of movies and almost all of them . I've watched all the famous movies of the so called "parallel cinema" and enjoyed them, apart from enjoying the ultimate masala movies. Apart from Indian and American movies, I have also enjoyed Italian, Russian, French movies. But again, when it comes to choosing the top 10, I have let my heart speak for me, and strangely enough my heart chose mostly the commercial movies and not the parallel ones.

1. Taare Zameen par:(Hindi)
The beauty of moments, the unparalelled cinematography, the excellent depiction of subtleties and the unique ability to carry you into the protagonist's world with an ease makes this movie an ultimate masterpiece in Indian cinema. The commercial touch given to the movie may prevent a few movie lovers from counting it as a classic, but combining art with monetary attractions add to my respect for the makers.

2. The Shawshank Redemption.(English)
Hope, patience and victory: This movie made me the understand the true meaning of these words.

3. Schlindler's List:(English)
Perfect portrayal of atrocities during the holocaust combined with some excellent direction and supported by brilliant acting makes this movie special.

4. Life is Beautiful:(Italian)
Some movies make you smile with a sad heart and cry with a joyous feeling. This movie is precisely that. I laughed at the jokes initially in the movie but somewhere the whole feeling of sadness revolving the protagonist didn't leave me. And at the end your mind wants to feel happy but your heart stops you.

5. Anand:(Hindi)
Second movie of the kind I was talking of above.

6. Shakti:(Hindi)
Being a Hindi movie has its advantage. After all I am a Hindi. My heart loves this movie though direction, acting and other cinematic experiences are all good but nowhere in the league of greatness. Still here my part of the heart which is a huge Big B fan speaks.

7. Ek shikari Kutte ki kahani:(Russian)
This Russian movie popular in film festivals made me cry for the first time.

8. Psycho:(English)
This is because I love thrillers.

9. The Usual Suspects:(English)
Because of the style it has and the fact that you may guess the end but still love it.

10. 12 Angry Men:(English)
Another movie which motivates you beyond words.

Shayd ab is sardi mein

bahar ki shardi ki garam hawaon mein
aansuon ki ek jhalak paai thi...
waqt ke sawaalon ke tale
chipi hui ek khaai thi..
us khaai mein aansuon ka ek sailaab tha
usi ki jhalak to aai thi..
na jaane wo khai kis shaitaan kis insaan
ya kis bhagwan ne banai thi??

himalaya ke barf ko yahan ki garmi pighla de..
is sard mausam mein aisi hawaayein aayi thi...
aur phir
darrr kar, chip kar pata nahi kahan se
dil ki ye tamanna bahar aayi thi....
ye tamanna garam hawaon ke liye
barf ka ek safed tukda jo laayi thi..

bas phir kya tha
ab bahar ki sardi mein bhi
shard hawaon ki mehak aayi hai...
dooor kahin chahchahate panchiyon ki
khanak dee sunayi hai...
yehi chehchahahat
dil mein ek naya vichar lekar aayi hai...
shayad ab is sardi mein
vasant ritu ki jhalak aayi hai...

Dated 15th January 2008


log kahte hain jeene ke liye zaroori hai maut...
agar jeena hai to marna padega ,....
pal pal har pal jeewan se ladna padega..
woh ladai hi to maut hai...
inssaniyat ki maut, chahat ki maut,
maut ichchayon ki, apekshaon ki maut..

maut apne sapnon ki, adhoore khwabon ki maut...
Maut apne apnon ki, kachche dhaagon ki maut..
Maut apne dil ki, unchuye waadon ki maut..
Maut meri, mere har khayalon ki maut..

In mauton ne hi to jeena sikhaya,
aur maut ke dard ko peena sikhaya...

Jee raha hun main aaj kyunki sah chuka hun main maut..
Log kahte hain jeene ke liye zaroori hai maut.

Dated 24th April, 2007.

Kuch baatein

lyf mein kabhi kabhi..
kuch baatein yaad aati hain..
jo tumhe dhang se jeena sikha jaati hain

wo baatein....bhula dena chahta hun.....
par dar hain kahin in baaton ke bhoolne se
jeene ka wo maksad bhi na gum ho jaaye..
jo in baaton ki yaadon mein chupa dena chahta hun...

usi tanhayee ke sahare to jee raha hunn..
warna na yaadein rahti na dar
rah jaata to bas baaton ka ek khandahar..
yaadein darati hain....tadpati hain..
shayad usi tadap ki aag se tapa kar mujhe jeena bhi sikhati hain.

lyf mein kabhi kabhi
kuch baatein kabhi nahi bhooli jaati hain..

By Ashwin

I don't write poems, i write my heart out

I don't think I have the creativity to write poems. But still I do, because after writing every poem I feel lighter, easier and closer to my heart. Sometimes your mind is not able to feel the difference between two conflicting situations but your heart is able to. The only problem is how to listen what your heart says. With so much confusion and penury of peace around you, its always tough listening to your heart. That's where poems play a role. Write without thinking anything. Just keep on writing and you will find what your heart has said. Sometimes its in the form of poems, sometimes stories.

I have written many poems in the past few years, whenever I was sad, whenever I was confused.I will post these poems in my blog.